Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
