Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
