C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
