I'm going to rape someone's good day.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
