Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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