have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
