Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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