She's JV to your varsity
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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