We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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