today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
