I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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