I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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