I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You can't special order awesome
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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