so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
