I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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