Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
