Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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