I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
