We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
