is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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