I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
