We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
