U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
