It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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