If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
