I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My breasts were aching with rage.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
soo... how was my night?
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