oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
