Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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