I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
