no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need to calm my uterus...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
