Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
