yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
