I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
