i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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