saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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