WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
