Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
