Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
