week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
