he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Boobs are out for the taking
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize