Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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