I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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