so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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