so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Say something about gay babies.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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