I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
