i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
