You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
