that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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