I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
