We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
