i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
should my penis look like a turkey
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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