I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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